Slutty McTiger Whore. Umm.
Princess Dork Minaj.
Now Princess Dork, okay. But Minaj?!
lil’ miss fucking fucker. ‘_”Source: waitwhatwasidoingagain
*gasp* Friend is lonely?
on my way friend… woah wait…yes
I dance to maek you happy
did friend like dance?
I shall battle the sadness!
friend isso pretty, she shouldnt feel sad or lonely
lots of people love friend! shes funny
I give huggles to friend
when friend is happy, we are happy
remember to smile okay? Smile as you read this!
you are not alone friend. I am here. Be happy.
(via onlylolgifs)Source: sugar-soul
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.
(via kazecat)Source: did-you-kno
Photographer Alexey Kljatov (aka ChaoticMind75) takes macro shots of natural snowflakes, snow and hoarfrost crystals right outside of his house in Moscow, Russia.
how are these so beautifully crafted? Mother nature is such a bad ass
if i were an alien race, the ships in my invasion fleet would be hexagonal and no two would be the same. the ground troops would be war of the worlds style tripods.
Like your mother and your cousin, your aunt, your sister-in-law, your grandmother and every single woman in your family.
do they all just mate with the same man or something
obviously they reproduce asexually through mitosis
1 word: Ditto.
(via chineseshell)Source: scolipede
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..
‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.
Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
This just changed me
(via rangepup)Source: theburiedlife
- Attempted scaring my husband coming home from work, he knew I was there
- I told him to go back and do it again, but to act scared this time!
- Instead of scaring him, apparently I airbended the crap out of him and it was so powerful that it knocked him to the ground
- This is why I love him
I literally cannot take how cute this is
at least the dog didn’t expect it the first time
(via onlylolgifs)Source: armedforceslove